As I reflect on my recent journey (2-3 years) as a second degree brown belt, I recall several classmates and instructors each year asking me a simple question, "are you grading this year?". For some reason, I found this one of the most difficult questions to answer. For those that know me, I try not to beat around the bush or deflect questions, but I struggle when I don't have a good answer in some situations. In these cases, I knew what the "right" answer was a simple definitive "yes", but that is hard to say when it is not so definitive in my own mind. I have gone into each year with very high and probably overzealous expectations and goals. I had a vision of the blackbelt I wanted to be and most of my requirements and goals were to that end. When I struggled with those goals and requirements, I lost sight of what my intent was. In hindsight, I see that from day one of each year, I had set myself up for failure. Even thought I may not have been consciously aware, it was definitely floating around my subconscious that my abilities did not align with this mystic pedestal residing blackbelt that I was expecting to be by the end of the year. When I realized that the blackbelt I visioned myself was out of reach, I came to the conclusion that I was not ready that year and lets look at next year. Well, the good news is this cycle only took me three years to figure out.
As I prepared and planned for this year, I kept this realization in front of me. My requirements, goals and expectations are purposeful and mindful to ensure I progress beyond where I am today but are also realistic for me.
More to come on this, I am sure.
Numbers suffered this week due to a nasty bout of COVID
Mike
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